Introduction
Family therapy was a new approach that was considered a revolution in the field of psychiatry and psychology in the 1980s. This method quickly gained popularity in Finland and many other countries around the world. Unlike traditional individual therapy, family therapy addresses problems in a relational context rather than within the individual’s inner world. This article will introduce the “Kids’ Skills” approach, a solution-focused and innovative psychological intervention method developed based on the philosophy of family therapy.
The Development of the Kids’ Skills Method
Kids’ Skills was developed in Finland in the late 1990s while working with children (aged 5-6) experiencing serious emotional and behavioral problems in the preschool period. These children were taken from kindergartens and brought to a special unit, and it was difficult to work with them using traditional methods. Establishing cooperation with parents was sometimes difficult. Inspired by solution-focused therapy principles, a simple, practical, and collaborative method emerged to address this need.
The method was not limited to this small group, but quickly spread to other preschools, schools, and families. It was later also used with adults and adolescents. Today, it has become a popular approach in many countries, including Germany, Switzerland, Sweden, and Norway.
Basic Philosophy and Principles
At the core of Kids’ Skills lies a radical departure from traditional psychiatric approaches. In contrast to the common diagnosis (ADHD, autism, OCD, etc.) and medication-focused treatment model, this method focuses on learning psychological skills.
- Shifting from the “Why?” Question to the “What Should Be Learned?” Question
In the traditional approach, the “Why?” question is asked to understand the root of the problem (e.g., “Why do you bite your nails?”, “Why do you hit your sister?”). In Kids’ Skills, the focus is on change and development. The fundamental question is: “What do they need to learn to overcome this problem?”
Problem: Aggressive behavior, fighting.
Traditional Question: “Why are you aggressive?”
Kids’ Skills Question: “What do you need to learn to get along better with your friends?” (e.g., “I need to learn to walk away when I get angry.”)
In this way, behavior labeled as a “problem” is transformed into a “skill to be learned.” The child moves from being a passive “patient” or “problem individual” to an active “learner.”
- Skill-Focused Mindset
The method centers on the concept of “skill.” A skill is an ability that can be learned, such as riding a bike, writing, or brushing teeth. Behavioral and emotional difficulties are also framed as lacking psychosocial skills.
Nail biting → “The skill of caring for beautiful nails”
Bedwetting → “The skill of getting up to use the toilet at night”
Sibling jealousy → “The skill of playing nicely with my sibling”
- Collaborative and Supportive Network
Kids’ Skills embodies the spirit of family therapy and does not view the problem as solely belonging to the child. The child needs a “team of supporters” in the process of learning the skill. This team can include parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, and even an imaginary character (e.g., a power-giving animal). The role of the supporters is to encourage the child, provide opportunities for practice, and celebrate progress. This provides the child with a social support network rather than labeling them.
Overview of the 15 Steps of the Method
The method consists of 15 structured steps. These steps can be applied flexibly and do not have to be covered in a single session.
Transforming the Problem into a Skill: Together with the child and family, the underlying skill deficit is identified.
Naming the Skill: The skill to be learned is given a name that the child will like (e.g., “Calm Tiger Skill”).
Choosing an Imaginary Supporter: An imaginary helper (animal, superhero) is chosen to accompany the child while learning the skill.
Forming a Support Team: Real-life supporters (family, teacher, friends) are identified and included in the process.
Seeing the Benefits of the Skill: The child is told about the advantages of learning this skill (being happier, making friends, etc.).
Deciding on a Celebration Method: A small celebration (party, reward) is planned for when the skill is learned.
Defining Success Criteria: It is clarified when the skill will be considered “learned.”
Announcing the Skill to the Public: With the child’s permission, the skill they have learned can be shared with supporters (even the class).
Practicing (Demonstrating): The child is asked not to “practice” the skill, but to “show” it to others. This increases motivation. Taking short videos with a phone can be an effective method.
Feedback and Encouragement: Supporters give positive and constructive feedback about the child’s efforts.
Planning Reminders: When the child forgets or reverts to old behavior, a plan is made for how to gently remind them. (“Did you forget your skill? How would you like us to remind you?”)
Celebrating Success: When the skill is learned, a pre-planned celebration takes place.
Teaching the Skill to Others: The child reinforces their knowledge by teaching the skill they have learned to someone else (e.g., their younger sibling).
Transitioning to New Skills: Once a skill is completed, a new skill to be learned can be identified.
Sharing the Process: Experiences can be shared to inspire other children and families.
Advantages and Applications of Kids’ Skills
Empowering and Non-Stigmatizing: It does not label the child as “problematic,” but focuses on their learning capacity and strengths.
Short-Term and Solution-Focused: Offers an alternative to traditional, long-term therapies.
Collaborative: Actively involves the family, school, and social environment in the therapy process.
Culturally Adaptable: Can be easily adopted in many countries around the world due to its emphasis on family and community support.
Wide Range of Application: Can be used with a wide age range, from preschool children to adolescents and even adults. It can be applied in schools, counseling centers, and clinical settings.
Simple and Accessible: Does not involve complex theories. Psychologists, psychiatrists, school counselors, and social workers can apply this method after receiving training.
Conclusion
The Kids’ Skills method is an approach full of hope and optimism that focuses on the question “how can we move forward” rather than “why” in the field of psychological assistance. It views children and families not as victims of a problem, but as active agents of change. It offers a psychological alternative based on skill development, especially in response to the increasing diagnosis and use of medication in child and adolescent psychiatry. This approach aims to bring about lasting and positive change by mobilizing the individual’s own resources and social support network. Its widespread adoption around the world will contribute positively to children and families’ access to mental health services.
Note: This article has been summarized from a webinar presentation Prof. Dr. Ben Furman and rewritten in an academic style. For detailed information about the Kids’ Skills methodology and practitioner training, it is recommended to contact the relevant institutes.
